NFR Humor

[JudyM]

Harlem Globetrotters of baseball:

 

[Mossback]

 

[DanielOcean]

 

[Dloy]

I was not a fan, just one of several hindsight mistakes. These guys were indeed special. That era seemed like a wasteland to me, but talent shows, even to an old guy. I wasn’t ready for Freddie, but I never turn him off now.

 

[Mukman]

My wife left me because I’m insecure.

Oh no, wait, she’s back. She just went to get groceries.

 

[joefromchicago]

A friends favorite:

What's at the bottom of the lake?

Bass turds.

 

[Dloy]

Or bad fellas.

 

[Herkileez]

 

[mark wlker]

My buddy Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.Dave wanted two things:

• to learn how to invest his inheritance and,

• to find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away .

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men....

 

[Mukman]

I know I joke a lot on this site, but on a serious note, I need everyone to wish me luck.

I have a meeting at the bank later today, and if it goes well, I could be free and clear of all debt and have quite a bit to add to my retirement account.

I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask!!

 

[Mukman]

In a recent conversation, someone said “Twenty years ago….” And I thought “Yeah, the 80’s.”. They meant 2004.

I need to lie down.

 

[speedbird]

Was reading up on Pinniped predation to help me be more informed debating a well intentioned misinformed Orca conservationist (Lots of those around, something about charismatic megafauna attracts the least educated people to be most involved in advocating for them) trying to convince me that removing the Snake River Dams will save Puget Sound Chinook, and stumbled upon something that aged well.

Salmon Predation In Puget Sound

www.washingtonflyfishing.com

 

[Wade Rivers]

I was not a fan, just one of several hindsight mistakes. These guys were indeed special. That era seemed like a wasteland to me, but talent shows, even to an old guy. I wasn’t ready for Freddie, but I never turn him off now.

Me 3. I describe myself as having a latent Freddie man-crush.

 

[Mukman]

My wife caught me sucking in my gut while standing on the bathroom scale.

“Hah! That’s not going to help!” she said.

“Sure it does”, I said. “It’s the only way I can read the numbers.”

 

[_WW_]

My wife caught me sucking in my gut while standing on the bathroom scale.

“Hah! That’s not going to help!” she said.

“Sure it does”, I said. “It’s the only way I can read the numbers.”

I told her I'm watching my weight...now that it's out there where I can see it.

 

[joefromchicago]

A friend always said "When you have a nice tool, you build a shed to cover it."

 

[Northern]

I can relate. Pre-teens, running after a fly ball, I struck a monkey bar head on. Out cold for a while.
Jus might splain some things.
‘Course the bicycle header into a telephone pole might have factored in.

Ah yes - the good ol days!
I grew up playing with my two youngest brothers; 4 and 5 years older than me. I recall at least 3 times I got knocked out cold.
Once they thought it would be funny to loosen the knots holding my blanket/hammock 12 feet up in a backyard tree...I remember coming to with both of them leaning over me as my vision cleared. The first thing they said? "Don't tell Mom! She won't let us climb the tree anymore!"

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

 

[Capt Insano Emeritis]

As a lifelong gardener and canner of Christmas gifts -I am happy to get my cleaned canning jars back. My smart arse “ bother in law” likes to return them full.

 

[Mukman]

I went to college for four years and didn’t learn a thing.

It’s my fault, though. I had a double major: Psychology and Reverse Psychology.